Wet with tears

She yelled wiping away her tears. All i could do is stand there and think of him. Of how we dont have the chance to cry together, to scream at eachother. True love. Im filled with emotion to a point where i cant keep it in anymore, but i am caught. Im caught in the middle of a feud, so I run away, run upstairs, close the door. In the darkness sitting at the edge of my bed, I collapse. My cheeks are wet with tears, I love him so. If she could only understand the depth of my emotions, the shadows behind my life. They will never know why I left. Why I leave all the time.

Is it him? Or is it the idea of "him" that i weap for. That I long for. I feel trapped in this emotion in this state of mind, where nothing is attainable. Does that make sense? Do I make sense? Why does crying feel so bad?

I need to step outside.

Letter into the abyss

I forgot i had this blog. I forgot how screwed up and honest I was on it. Ive been keeping another blog, a familly friendly, highly censored blog. One which I now hate, I miss these unexcusable rambles.

And I know no one reads this, no one could possibly be following me. But im still sending this letter into the Abyss, because now I know that I've done it. Its all about selfishness.. and a bit about hope.

Why do I only rant late at night?