shitty

So it’s Thursday night, or should i say Friday morning. Blah 4am how tragic am i? Theres something about me that doesn’t let me sleep until im completely exhausted to a point where i have to crawl to my bed. Im still facing the same things... and i haven’t done my new year’s resolution yet... ive giving myself another deadline extension... this time i have until my bday which is in a month. I know ive given myself enough time already and i hate myself for doing it but i cant seem to do it.. ill always have excuses i need someone to fucking grab a hold of me and make me scream it. Its like jumping into a pool for the first time, you have no idea how its gonna feel.. it might be the worst feeling in the world and u might hate it or it might be the best thing you’ve ever done. Except for this, once you’ve jumped you cant go back. Your stuck in that pool forever. Pray that your a good swimmer.
I did fuck all today, skipped a class... which is of no surprise. I dont know what im doing in university, sometimes i just wanna run away from it all and move to NYC get a random job and just live. I want to do that so much sometimes that its overwhelming and scary. I think i might actually do it, the more i think about it. Central park... comeon, the people, there nowhere else to be than NYC, maybe get a small Upper west side appt. I would love it. I would die.
Fuck... anyways im done.