1am

its 1am,
i had one of those weekends. my brother was down from the far east which meant familly supper, familly chatter, and familly gossip. You know when you enter a room and suddenly everyone acts a bit strange as though they have just been talking about you. Well this weekend was filled with those.

First it was my sister... "So whats going on with you?" "Wheres your girlfriend?" "Is there something wrong with you?" No there isnt something wrong!!! lay the fuck off...

Its not that they care, there just curious. they feed on peoples problems and gossip even though it ends up hurtting them in the end.

As much as I love them they make me wanna run away and never look back. im soo different from them and there all soo.... alike.

If they only knew.

I dont know why the fuck i write this blog, maybe I want to get found out.


Oh

The weirdest thing happened.. My step-mother, in the midst of familly chatter, yells out to me and says; "OH! Did you see Brothers and Sisters last weekend???" and im like "hmmm, maybe... yeh... why?" then with a big smirk on her face says; " Well they had the first gay ceremony on tv!!"

My mouth dropped, I didnt know how to react.. the room went silent. Everyone was looking at me, and she just stood there with a smile on her face. soo i said "ok.." in a tone where it sounded like i didnt care. Then after the most awkward silence ive ever had to endure, I said something about the food and changed the subject entirely.

I still don't know how to take that. Was it was trap? Was is planned? Or does she genuinly think that I would be interested in knowing that? You must understand that my step-mother and I rarely talk, so for her to go out of her way and ask me such a question is realllyyyyy weird and unlike her. And it was clear that my whole familly picked up on that.

looking back, i feel as though i should taken advantage of the situation but I was soooo caught off guard. To me it kinda looked like she just wastnt thinking.... Soo it might'have just slipped out, which means she probly had it in her mind that im gay. Am i right? Or am i just hoping for something thats not there?

Anyways, I have a shit load more to say, but ill save it. Im tired and my grammar/spelling skills aren't the best tonight, soo ill save u the discomfort and leave it as that.

nite.

maybe ill stay up till dawn tonight.